biking hell

Ah, bikes. I have a love/hate relationship with bikes. Actually, that's a lie. I have a hate/hate relationship with bikes. However, until moving to North Carlton, I didn't have to worry much about bikes. Sure, I'd see them on the streets and shake my fist angrily if they nearly ran me down on the PEDESTRIAN footpath but my mind wasn't consumed with them. I even had friends that rode bikes.

Then I moved to 3054. Suddenly. Bikes. EVERYWHERE. During the first few weeks of the move, I attempted to embrace the two-wheeled menaces and even attached one to the front of the house. It looked like we were true locals. We had a BIKE attached to our FRONT FENCE. But guests and friends alike weren't fooled. The bike quickly developed a condition known to happen when objects remain in the same place for long periods of time unused. Cobwebs.




And so I went back to my initial stance on bikes. Not for me. The one at the front of the house was pure decoration. The rest of the north could have them. And so I attempted to be accommodating on my walks to and from the tram stop. I always made sure to look both ways when crossing a particularly bike-heavy street. I tried not to get too angry when bikes cut me off on the footpath or had ridiculouly small night lights which meant I could barely see then when it got dark. (Here's a tip, bike people, small flashing night lights DON'T WORK).

But then came November 5th. I'd had a particularly stressful day at work and decided to walk home from Parliament Station instead of catching the 96. It was a warm day. I was hot, bothered and stressed. Not a good day to mess with me. So as I waited patiently for the pedestrian lights to turn green (on the corner of Albert Street and Nicholson Street), I was none too impressed when it felt like someone had accidentally bumped into the back of me. But the person didn't stop, they kept pushing me so I was almost forced from the footpath onto the road. I turned around and a man with grey hair, a ridiculously coloured lycra outfit and a BIKE had run into me! His front wheel had hit the back of my leg and the rest of the force had hit me at on my right shoulder blade. I was standing on the footpath which is my turf as a pedestrian and HE rode into ME. Well, I turned around and politely inquired 'WHAT THE FUCK!' before he mumbled an apology and rode off.

So until someone presents an apposing argument that I warm to, I will continue to not like bikes.